I was dating a guy in New York and the first time I went to his apartment, I felt like it was out of a scene in American Psycho. All white everything. No "stuff." No photos. No color. Not a stray pube in sight. I immediately felt like he was hiding something– or that he was a psychopath. I made up an excuse as to why I couldn't stay.
Alternately, I've seen bedrooms (and whole apartments) that look like the epicenter of a 5.3 quake--dirty, smelly, piles of clothes and sh*t all over the floor- I would not even take off my shoes (let alone any stitch of clothing). In that case, I also ran like hell.
Don't let this happen to you. There is a happy medium. If the hard part is getting her to your apartment–– it should be a no brainer for her to stay.
Here are a few tips to make your living space a straight up babe lair:
- Your space is a reflection of you. What impression will it send? It will be the first window into your personal identity--who you are, what you do, things you like. The key is not fabricating something you're not, but letting your personality show through--authenticity is a huge turn on. Ideally your pimp lair would be clean and tidy, yet comfortable and "lived in." Art or family photos help. Your presence should be visible, palpable, and representative of your habits.
- Bedside Tables--preferably two--one on each side of the bed. It might sound superfluous, but ladies like to keep a glass of water (or phone, purse, chapstick etc) on a night stand an arms length from the bed. It feels more inviting if she has one on her side of the bed too...even if it is only a (one) night stand.
- Rug. Ok, I realize this may sound logical and/or ridiculous to point out, BUT a rug sets the tone for the whole room. The color scheme and texture can "warm up" an entire room, making it inviting and cozy. One client told me that he "lived 15 years without a rug, why start now?"...and once the rug arrived, it became his favorite part of the room.
- Clutter, Cleanliness and Crap. Turn ons: a tidy bed, the smell of clean sheets and a visible floor. Turn offs: piles of dirty laundry, smelly gym bag, Bud Light Mardi Gras beads from spring break 2004. Fill your space with things you care about and give away the rest. Cleaning out what no longer serves you will provide you (and a lady friend) clarity as to what you're really about.